However, I did jack up the top of my foot. I’ve been icing it and resting it. But, I think it is Extensor tendonitis. I know which pose I jacked it up in too. Weird how these things happen. I am taking anti-inflammatory medicine and trying to rest it. Which is hard because I am itching to practice. Figures!

Also, I ended my previous job last week and preparing for my new job next week. It is back in the mortgage world. But has some added benefits (like working from home 4 days a week). I am looking forward to a better 2012. Last year was the toughest year Denver & I have faced financially since we’ve been together over the past 11 years! I am hopeful for this year.

In other news I’ve started teaching at Balance! I am still teaching at the lovely Active Sol Yoga space as well. I updated my schedule on this page.

Also, we are in the throws of the 40 days to a personal revolution. We have a very large group and it is going pretty well so far. What I am gaining from it is getting on my meditation cushion daily. The yoga practice wasn’t the issue. it was the lazy part of me that had moved away from meditation. With this monkey mind coming back to the cushion…it shows that I  need meditation more than ever. Especially with so much change at the moment.

And my practice is a mix of vinyasa and primary series (as always). Just trying to find that middle ground for myself. But this week I have had to modify drastically because I can’t jump through or back or put a lot of pressure on my right foot. But, it is a great lesson. They say our injuries are our greatest teachers.

So I am hopeful for 2012! I typically try to set intentions for the new year each January. But this year I actually did something I’ve been meaning to do for some time. I made my own version of a “vision” board

Of course weight loss is on the list..I have gained weight and more for health reasons vs. vanity…I need maintain a healthy weight and stop fluctuating so much! But my intentions for 2012 include:

• Become happier with my true self by cultivating true health
• More Juicing and less processed food
• Daily asana, meditation and pranayama. Even 5 min is better than nothing at all!
• More time with my husband
• Love more
• Cultivate mindfulness

So that is a pretty big list. But, these things really mean a lot to me and I know if I do my best to work on these things I can enjoy the life I truly want. What do you want in 2012?

Other things I am stoked about in 2012??

Well Stephanie Keach is going to be in town next week for her vinyasa training. I’ve taken her vinyasa training and  her 270 hour/9 month teacher training as well. So she is definitely a HUGE influence in my life. I am looking forward to her master classes on Saturday and Sunday at Ancient of Days yoga.

But, there is more!! I start a new job on the 23rd! It is a step in the right direction. Better salary, ability for bonuses, working 4 days from home, 401K and still the ability to teach yoga classes a few days a week. Looking forward to this. A really good way to begin the new year.

But, to gear up for the year in the right way I am helping coordinate 40 days to Personal Revolution.

This is going to be the perfect way to begin the year. I am joining in  and going through the 40 days. I can’t get to the yoga studio 5 days a week, but I will practice at home. It is going to set the tone for the new year!

Also, I have a new teaching schedule. Once I have the details ironed out I will share. I know I am teaching on Thursday nights at Active Sol Yoga

Lots of great things going on. I hope this keeps going in 2012 because to be totally honest…2011 SUCKED!!!

Chai says enjoy the new year!

I haven’t posted much recently. Mainly because I do not feel as if I have had anything of importance to share. I do know that as the year comes to an end I find myself a bit excited. I love “clean slates” I love the possibility to begin anew. Granted you can do this each day you open your eyes. I suppose I love this time of year because it is accompanied by family, sweets, treats, pretty things and a few days off with the husband and pup. Not bad at all!

But, I am ready for 2012. I have been through a lot personally this year; financially downfalls, loosing my job, changing the industry I work in and teaching more yoga than before. Just a lot of things that changed. Difficult, but necessary I believe.

Over the last few weeks I’ve been practicing and getting back into my routine. It is hard with my schedule is not consistent. I am finding time to fit it in when I can. I was fortunate to attend Kino’s workshop at Balance last weekend. It was a really wonderful 3 days of yoga. Kino is inspiring. The way she is in the mysore room is compassionate but authoratative. Meaning she doesn’t let you get away with not putting your all into the practice. For example I know that if you are working on drop backs you typically wait at the front of your mat for the teacher. Well she was so busy buzzing around I did my three dropbacks (still not coming up on my own) and then went on with closing. She walked over and said “no dropbacks?” and of course I stood up and did several others. She did get me almost to touch my heels. She is the only teacher who has ever encouraged me to crawl my fingers in THAT much! I had no clue my body could do that. Apparently she did. It was eye opening; meaning…what else am I possibly holding back on? Perhaps I do not play my edges enough. It was just food for thought.

During the 2nd series workshop I was super weak (after mysore) and since I do not practice 2nd series…it just made it very difficult. I opted to take photos and notes on things in preparation for what the future holds. Even though I have been able to get into Kapotasana in other classes. Getting into that posture in the correct method is SOO hard. No rush for me. I am content in Primary for the rest of my life

Here are some photos from the workshop!

In other news I am happy to working with some fellow teachers to host 40 days to personal revolution

It starts in January. I know sometimes Baron gets a bad rap. However, I really did enjoy this book. I think it is a good practice to share with vinyasa students. So I am looking forward to this!

This was a very interesting piece for me to watch.  After a brief practice I meditated this morning. Trying to get to the root of some things that keep nagging me lately. This is what came through clearly to me:

I no longer trust myself as I have hurt myself in the past. I am afraid of trusting myself in fear of further hurt. I don’t know how to begin to trust myself again. Then this came through loudly: Numb is easy. Awake is hard.

I know this is hard to understand without knowing all of my history. And to be honest it could be a book and might be pretty boring. But, what I am getting at is that I now KNOW where the disconnect might be coming from. It has taken me months to get to this point. I have ruminated over and over on the same things and that has gotten me No where but frustrated. So…at least I have a starting point.

a) I have not been meditating… and b) I work in an environment with sensory overload. We have music playing all day and bright colors and people working out and moving. All positive things. But my mind is on alert and “going” all day with no down time. This just hit me as I woke up again this morning at my typical 2:30-3:00 am for water. I was WIDE awake. It is a bummer.

I know how to fix this, now to incorporate the discipline I need to take 15 min each evening after work to sit quietly and meditate. I am sure that will help.

On another note finances are tighter than you can imagine. But things are on the up swing. However, I am having issues working with a mini fridge and a mini budget. So a dear friend pointed me in the direction of Vegan $3.33

I LOVE this blog. Granted there are 2 vegans in this house. So it might be a bit over $3.33 a day. But some really great low fat healthy recipes and inexpensive!

And something else I am falling in love with. Chinese medicine, Yin and restorative. I am a very Pitta person and like firey heated vinyasa practice. But from time to time I do love a nice low flow or yin practice. I know many people dont. It wasn’t love at first practice. It took time. But now I see its effectiveness.

If you are interested watch this video by the wonderful Cora Wen.

What was cool with the last two weeks is that I was given the opportunity to teach at the studio I practice at and also teach what I personally practice; Ashtanga Primary series. It was scary at first. Afraid of not doing the practice justice. But, I am managing it well and hopefully helping the students in the beyond basics series learn the series. So I am thankful for the opportunity. It has given me some insight on what it would be like to teach full time and also to teach strictly Ashtanga.

Last night I didn’t make it until very late after teaching. A cup of Kava tea and a hot shower and I was finally in bed at midnight. I decided today I would veg before tending to my to do list and also heading up to Atlanta to teach this evening. I did get 8 hours of sleep and that felt amazing. Now sitting with the windows open and a fall like breeze cooling down the house. Perfect. Couple that with a snoring Bulldog and I am one happy girl.

I also spent the weekend at Atlanta pride supporting my brother-in-law and the LGBT community. Some photos from our weekend:

So for the last 2 weeks I find myself sound asleep on the sofa right after dinner. This is not like me at all! I would never fall asleep on the sofa. Nope!  I am sure my husband is getting bored too, I fall asleep in the middle of a movie. I tried to watch the season finale of True Blood TWICE and didn’t make it through (that might just be because this season was horrible)! But, I am becoming exhausted easier and earlier. I am sure it is the crummy mono that has yet to fully leave me alone. I am waking up with crusty eyes and a scratchy throat. Pile on that it is ragweed season. Fun!

Also, I have been super grumpy too. More than usual   I also had this bright idea to start running because I had gained weight over the last month and was just frustrated. The running is going okay. But, I battle with the fact that to be honest;  if I could choose to do 30 min of sun salutes/ashtanga/yoga or run…well I would chose yoga. So, I am not in love with running obviously.

I need to regroup and just clean the slate. I have a dear friend in a fellow yoga teacher. She does a fruit fast 2-3 times a year periodically based on Baron Baptiste’s book Journey into Power. Yeah, I know Baron gets a bit of a bad rap for his ego.  But, I have read his book and in all honesty there are pretty good points being made. Some of the time the way he refers to himself in the book bothers me. But I can look past that. After all I am a total yoga geek so I read pretty much anything yoga related to see if I can obtain any new insights or knowledge to share with students. Anyway, back to my friend. She mentioned she was ready to do another fruit cleanse so I debated on it.

The “cleanse” makes sense. 2 days of proteins, brown rice, fresh fruit and vegetables. Then 3 days of fruits, juices, etc (tomatoes, avocados, cucumbers and peppers are also fruit so can be creative. Plus you are eating and not just on liquids. Nothing too drastic. I think it might help me feel a little more back in control of my body and help me regroup. Combine this with yoga and meditation for these days. It just sounds so appealing to me at the very moment.

In other news I was asked to sub in October at the studio I’ve been going to for close to 5-6 years now. It is an Ashtanga and Vinyasa studio. What makes this a big deal for me is that I was asked to sub Ashtanga yoga classes. Anyone who knows me understand my passion for the practice. And to be asked to sub these classes, well to me it was an honor to know that the studio owners felt I was competent enough to actually share the series with others.

So, here I am tired, cranky, unhappy because I am gaining weight. If I exert too much energy I am even more tired.  I can get through primary series, but it is a long haul and I feel like 1000 ton of bricks. So, I am trying to turn my “blah” attitude around and slowly but progressively get back in charge of my health. Little by little. Cleaning up what I eat. Maybe just work through standing postures & closing for a week and see what happens.  Take it slow.

I didn’t realize how much of an A type person I was. Used to going a million miles and never slowing down and always wanting to fix everything. I realize I can’t “fix” this unless I just take a milder approach and calm the heck down. Lets see what happens.

So the tests came back last week. I have Mono. Actually back in April is when I contracted it from my husband (read that post here). He apparently bounced back much easier than I did. Apparently, after my trip back from Oregon; when my immune system was compromised, that is when it came back up. So, the infection is still there (and from what I’ve read I will always have it). But, the doctor said we need to give myself 4-6 more weeks to let my lymph nodes come down from swelling. Lots of fluids and rest is what I was told to do. That is hard for someone wanting to try and start running and to lose 15 pounds. But, my body is going through fighting this thing off. So, I have to listen. I will continue with my practice though. At least 3 times a week minimum. I feel fine most days. Just certain days I become very exhausted. Today being one of those days. But, I pushed myself too hard yesterday: taught for 1 hour, took yoga for 75 min and then ran for 20 min when I got home. I don’t know why I am so hard headed….

Today I am pretty wiped out and didn’t get a practice in. I might do a 20 min walk/run tomorrow since it is a moon day. There is a fine line…between being lazy and trying to stay healthy so my immune system can fight this off, and over doing it. I need enough sleep, right foods, good frame of mind. I have to find that balance.

Last week while getting a facial at work (part of the perks of working in  a spa like place) my co-worker pointed out that I had a cyst of some sort on my neck. It was something I didn’t notice, because it isn’t noticeable unless I am lying down. Well, I just blew it off like it was nothing. Because chances are that is exactly what it is..nothing to worry about.

This week said co-worker asked me if I had it checked out. I said no, stating it was probably nothing. She asked to look at it again and informed me it had grown and was more swollen. Since I couldn’t see it standing up, I asked that she take a photo so I could see for myself and determine if I needed to really have it check out.

After seeing the photo I determined it wouldn’t hurt just to have it looked at. And after my husband saw it he agreed. For him to agree was kind of a big deal, he is the most rational person I know. Besides his goofy side, he is very down to earth. So, I decided to get to the doctor. See, the last few weeks I’ve also been bruising more than usual. I am such a fair skinned person and most of my family (mom and sisters) also bruise so easy. But, these bruises  were showing up all over my legs and were not little, they were large and purple and noticable enough that I decided to go back to taking my iron supplements.

Couple these events with the fact that in the last 6 months I’ve come down with some viral infection that was similar to strep. But, I never tested positive for strep. While having sever swollen lymph nodes and to the point I lost my voice for 3 days back in April/May. So yep, time to see what my body is trying to tell me.

Well, I made it to the Doctor yesterday. He poked around in my neck, checked my nails, eyes, etc… I showed him the few bruises I had that were nice and purple and the older ones that were fading. He agreed to just be safe lets get blood work done to rule out:

• Anemia
• check my Clotting rate
• check my liver
• check my thyroid
• check my B12 levels
• mentioned something about Mono and on my paperwork it said “Epstein-Barr Profile”

So…it really could be nothing but an old infection draining out of my lymph nodes (which is what I think it is). But considering being sick more this year than I have in my entire life and add on this lump and bruising. Well, it was time to just get an overhaul of tests to check in my body on a scientific level.

But, carry that over to my every day life. I must have been ignoring my body’s warning signs. Anxiety, mild depression, stress (jobs, finances, you name it), allergies, irritability. All of this was signs something was up and I just pushed through them. Worked harder than ever, pushed myself physically and never took time to really chill out and check in. Even during my yoga practice I pushed myself more on an “exercise” level than a nurturing one.

Last night I pulled out a book I picked up at one of the Borders that was going out of business. It is a book by Patricia Walden; The Woman’s Book to Yoga and Health.

I read the chapters on Immune Support and also on Depression. This books has a lot of information I thought I could use in my teaching. What I did read make sense and was a good reminder that yoga practice doesn’t always have to be so physical. It also has some healing properties that I should utilize when in need.

So, even if this little lump is nothing, and I truly believe that it is. This just served as a little wake-me-up to say hey, relax a bit more, try to meditate more, use yoga as medicine (thanks to a dear friend who shared that with me last week), eat better, juice more (I totally stopped doing that this summer), sleep more than 5 hours a night, journal more and not stuff all my stress and negative thoughts down..get them out and onto paper. And just check in with my body daily rather than when it decides to yell at me “Hey…will you listen!?”

So, 5 vials of blood taken. I should hear back soon. Also, on another antibiotic. AGAIN…this time it is a different one I’ve never taken before. So we will see, I know it is just a way of my body trying to make me take notice and it isn’t anything serious. But, it did its job.

Dear Body…Thank you for reaching out to  me. I am now paying attention. Lets move on. Love, Flo

You know while I was talking to my friend today I mentioned that I am back and forth when it comes to my yoga practice. I can’t make up my mind. One day I want Ashtanga, the next I want a flow practice. I am all over the map. So when I stepped onto my mat today I said…Primary. I knew I needed a good long meditative practice. That was exactly what I got.

What bothers me is that I don’t like flip flopping between practices. So the fact that mentally I can’t stick with one method annoys me. I tend to annoy myself at times. Because part of me realizes I need the discipline of Primary series. It keeps me accountable and on my mat. The series also feels right to me. I mean it isn’t easy by any stretch…but it feels like a complete practice.

The issue is why do I become ADD and start doing other things in the middle of my home practice (that is not in the series). I am trying to understand if it is just a natural flow I am finding and I should honor that. Or am I being lazy and avoiding something? I suppose this is just a rant for myself to figure out.

Regardless. I felt annoyed and wasn’t sure if anyone else has run into this issue?

Tonight will be a relaxing night with college football. I do work on Monday, but I start back teaching my own class schedule Monday evening! Looking forward to it!